Monday, July 20, 2009

I want your sex

Today SnarkyMommy and I did the whole 20-week ultrasound thing. As I mentioned previously, she has been against finding out the sex of the baby this time around. I, on the other hand, want to find out the sex so I don't have to waste time coming up with two names which would be time wasted from what's really important... blogging to my faithful readers.

SnarkyMommy went into the appointment today thinking she had won, that the sex of the baby would be a surprise and I would have to live with it. But as you readers all know, you never underestimate the SnarkyDaddy. It's too bad for SnarkyMommy that SnarkyDaddy knows about the Google. SnarkyDaddy knows about the internets (I have a little secret for you - it's not a big truck, it's a series of tubes).

For me, today's appointment was my first day on the job after graduating. You see, I recently enrolled myself in the UltraSound Reading program at Google University. And I don't like to brag, but I did graduate summa cum laude. That's right folks, I spent at least 10 minutes skimming a dozen or so websites to get this degree. And now I know about the "Hamburger Sign", the "Turtle Sign", and even the "30 degree rule". What I'm really saying here is if my current job doesn't work out, I'm pretty sure I have a future as an Ultrasound Technician.

So we went to the appointment today and it was hard for me to keep my mouth shut. Not because of my plan, but because I didn't approve of some of the Ultrasound Technician's techniques. She had obviously gotten her degree long ago and wasn't in on the latest preferred methods a fresh graduate like myself was schooled in. But if I started giving her tips right then and there, I would surely tip my hand and SnarkyMommy would order me out of the room. So I kept my cool, stood back, and watched the screen like a hawk.

And I've got great news faithful readers, I am now in possession of the one piece of information that has devastated SnarkyMommy. She is not happy, not happy at all... I KNOW THE SEX OF OUR UNBORN CHILD AND SHE DOES NOT!

Now, taking SnarkyMommy's feelings into consideration, I cannot let you in on my newfound knowledge. It would be too painful for her. And SnarkyDaddy, of the highest upstanding ethics, will have to make this one secret that cannot leave the vault.

However, if anyone is interested in paying for this information... I mean, SnarkyDaddy does have bills to pay, people. I'm opening the bidding at $10.

2 Comments:

Blogger Crystal said...

Too funny! :) Love your blog!! (Does that make your audience spring to 4? ;) ) Keep writing! (Though I happen to agree with your wife, sorry.) :)

July 20, 2009 10:07 PM  
Blogger Monica said...

aw come on, I won't tell. I'm amazed she doesn't want to know the sex of weebey. Glad your u/s skills are up to par. Looking forward to meeting him. (my guess)

July 21, 2009 6:27 AM  

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