Weighty matters

I don't want to frighten anybody, but SnarkyMommy has been putting on weight recently. I'm not sure what it could possibly be. Oh, she is pregnant, but that can't be it - because this is the third time she's been pregnant and each and every time she acts as though it is some type of freak occurrence that she is gaining weight. So obviously, since she is still acting like this is a shocking event after already being pregnant twice before, there must not be any relation between pregnancy and weight gain. Right?

Oh, you mean that the combination of weight gain and pregnancy is a completely natural occurrence?

Do I really have to go through this again? SnarkyMommy is whining once again about her weight gain. I tried to be sensitive for the first and second babies. I pretended that I couldn't notice any weight gain. I would assure her that nobody would notice her growing pooch of a belly.

And now with baby No. 3, she continues to act as if she is apparently clueless to the fact that pregnancy brings weight gain. Well, although part of me would like to break down and say "That's right. You're fat and getting fatter... you're pregnant, get over it!" - being SnarkyDaddy comes with certain responsibilities; a certain code of ethics. So for example, when she said to me the other day " I'm as fat as a pig," I continued to respond with very polite remarks:

SnarkyDaddy: "No no honey, you're not as fat as a pig."

SnarkyMommy: "Really?"

SnarkyDaddy: "Well, a pig maybe, but definitely not a hog."

SnarkyMommy: "A hog?"

SnarkyDaddy: "OK, OK. Well, maybe a hog. But more like a young hog that has a healthy diet."

So I just want my readership to know that SnarkyDaddy is as sensitive to the feelings of SnarkyMommy as ever.

And also, I want to let my readership know that I continue to be as fit and trim as ever. This is now the THIRD pregnancy where I continue to keep my smoking hot figure ... that must be some kind of record!