Don't be an imbe-cell
SnarkyDaddy never turns on the sound on his cell phone... so when asked today if my cell phone was turned off, I didn't think twice about it. It's always off or on vibrate.
Unfortunately for SnarkyDaddy, on this day I happened to be at a funeral. OK, not just any funeral, it happened to be my grandfather's... with my entire family present. And I wasn't just a passive observer in this memorial service. No, no... I was a pallbearer.
So you can imagine my shock, and the shock of the rest of my family, when somebody's cell phone went blaring as the casket was being carried from the hearse.
SnarkyDaddy thought, "OK, who's the major-league asshole who didn't turn off his cell phone?"
Then SnarkyDaddy thought, "Wow, that ring is really familiar. I mean, how many people other than SnarkyDaddy have "Birthday Sex" by Jeremih as their ring?"
It was at this point SnarkyDaddy realized that sound was blaring from his pocket. Of course, the cell phone was in my right-side pocket and I was lifting the casket with my right hand. Reaching around with my left hand into my right pocket was only an option if dropping the casket was an option, which I quickly determined it wasn't.
So SnarkyDaddy had to do the near impossible... switch hands to carry the casket with my left hand while quickly thumbing through my pocket with my right hand to shut off the cell phone, then smoothly transitioning the casket back to my right hand. I went with this risky option and performed flawlessly.
SnarkyDaddy would have been embarrassed about this entire episode if I didn't quickly realize that having a cell phone ring during a funeral is considered a positive sign that the deceased is calling you from the other side to say one last "goodbye".
I'm pretty sure that the reason that none of my family would speak to me afterward was because they were jealous that Gramps hadn't called them.
And really, who wouldn't want to have "Birthday Sex" played at their funeral? SnarkyDaddy is pretty sure it will become the standard soon.
Unfortunately for SnarkyDaddy, on this day I happened to be at a funeral. OK, not just any funeral, it happened to be my grandfather's... with my entire family present. And I wasn't just a passive observer in this memorial service. No, no... I was a pallbearer.
So you can imagine my shock, and the shock of the rest of my family, when somebody's cell phone went blaring as the casket was being carried from the hearse.
SnarkyDaddy thought, "OK, who's the major-league asshole who didn't turn off his cell phone?"
Then SnarkyDaddy thought, "Wow, that ring is really familiar. I mean, how many people other than SnarkyDaddy have "Birthday Sex" by Jeremih as their ring?"
It was at this point SnarkyDaddy realized that sound was blaring from his pocket. Of course, the cell phone was in my right-side pocket and I was lifting the casket with my right hand. Reaching around with my left hand into my right pocket was only an option if dropping the casket was an option, which I quickly determined it wasn't.
So SnarkyDaddy had to do the near impossible... switch hands to carry the casket with my left hand while quickly thumbing through my pocket with my right hand to shut off the cell phone, then smoothly transitioning the casket back to my right hand. I went with this risky option and performed flawlessly.
SnarkyDaddy would have been embarrassed about this entire episode if I didn't quickly realize that having a cell phone ring during a funeral is considered a positive sign that the deceased is calling you from the other side to say one last "goodbye".
I'm pretty sure that the reason that none of my family would speak to me afterward was because they were jealous that Gramps hadn't called them.
And really, who wouldn't want to have "Birthday Sex" played at their funeral? SnarkyDaddy is pretty sure it will become the standard soon.
posted by Josh at
9:11 PM
5 Comments:
I'm sure it was a beautiful tribute...
Oh man. YOu should have answered and pretended it was Grandpa. Then told everyone Grandpa said "to dry up and hurry to the hearse". Of course I'm pretty sarcastic. You obviously have more manners than I do. Love reading your blog. You and Amy are a hoot.
I received a message for you, Josh:
Josh,
I'm glad you got to see me on the day of my funeral. I heard you ate quite a bit at the luncheon afterward. I always knew it was cheaper to clothe you than to feed you.
I forgive you for the cell phone ringing. I hope it was one of the nurses who took care of me.
I will miss you.
Love,
Papa
oh my goodness. That dang phone. My phone went off during jury duty, I looked at everyone else thinking it couldn't have been me, then I was so flustered I couldn't turn it off. The bailiff graciously took it for me but I was sooo embarrassed!
HHAAAAA!!!! Straight out of a sitcom, I swear!
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